


In the darkest Ocean

by RosesAndFrills



Series: It always ends too soon [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst, Heaven & Hell get revenge, Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Beta Read, Stabbing, Suicidal Thoughts, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29850150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosesAndFrills/pseuds/RosesAndFrills
Summary: Some time after the failed Apocalypse Heaven and Hell once again try to get rid of their traitors. This time they're a lot more successful.Aziraphale's POV to "Under a Starry Sky", the two stories are largely unconnected and can be read independently.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: It always ends too soon [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2194581
Kudos: 14





	In the darkest Ocean

**Author's Note:**

> Once again I'm sorry. (Sorta)

While he was still falling through the air, the wind rushing through his feathers, Aziraphale hoped that maybe the impact would discorporate him. That at least would save him from feeling physical pain while his essence unravelled until there was nothing left of him.

When he hit the water, the impact punched all the air from his lungs. His back felt bruised and the saltwater burned like hellfire in the wound in his chest, but his body was still very much alive. His wings had taken much of the impact and kept him afloat for the time being.

He didn’t even try to fight the waves that started to pull him under, gripping at and drenching his wings and splashing over his face. He managed to ignore them for the short moments his head was still above water, instead focusing on the stars above, trying to memorize the beautiful image they formed. They were the last reminder of Crowley that he would get to see. He had told him once which of them he had made, pointing out the ones that were still visible in London. Now, there were so many more and he wished he could ask again.

Then he was submerged, the waves crashing together over him for a final time, the sky above distorted through the water. Almost on reflex he willed away his need for breath, before wondering whether he should put it back, to just discorporate from drowning, but he wasn’t sure whether that would actually be a more bearable death than bleeding out. He decided not to find out.

So he just let himself slowly sink deeper and deeper, a strange calm overcoming him as he made peace with what had happened to him and the end he could see looming not too far off. With detached interest he watched as the golden blood from his chest drew beautiful, shimmering shapes in the water above him, never stopping as more was added in a continuous stream.

The stars weren’t visible to him anymore as he was swallowed up by the dark ocean, so his mind wandered to his own personal star. His love. There he found a thought he couldn’t make peace with. The fact that, potentially, Crowley was wounded just as he was, out of reach, bleeding out alone.

Aziraphale tried to hold on to hope. When the demons had gotten him, Crowley had still been far ahead of his own pursuers. Aziraphale was confident he could outrun them, he had always been faster in the air than most beings he knew, his wings built for speed and agility. He had to believe that he had gotten away, because he couldn’t deal with the thought of him ceasing to exist.

Slowly, he felt the pressure on his body increase as he sank deeper into the ocean. Maybe he would discorporate before his essence bled out after all. He wondered whether being pressed to death would be a more pleasant death than drowning or bleeding out. He decided to leave his breathing turned off a little longer before choosing.

He tried to distract himself again by thinking about Crowley, confident that he was still alive and well, unable to process the alternative. He just hoped Crowley would be able to move on with his life without blaming himself for Aziraphale’s death. He could flee to Alpha Centauri to hide how he had already planned once. Maybe things would have turned out better had Aziraphale said yes back then.

They had been so happy and it had ended so abruptly and far too soon. It was unfair. They had spent so long pretending, lost so much time and when they thought they could finally be together, be free, their former bosses just couldn’t let the past rest. They hadn’t even given them a full year.

In a desperate attempt to maybe help the one being that had been by his side since the beginning in any way, he began to pray, something he hadn’t done since breaking ties with heaven. He had still felt let down after the whole disaster of the failed Apocalypse and his attempt to contact the Almighty, but now there was something more important than his own feelings. He couldn’t speak of course, but he knew the Almighty would know his thoughts. He just hoped She would care.

There was a blurriness creeping into his vision from the edges as the softly glowing ribbons of his blood in the water were slowly growing thinner, sometimes even breaking off shortly. He was surprised he had stayed conscious this long. By now, the pressure on his body was almost too painful but he wasn’t strong enough to care anymore.

He closed his eyes, it didn’t make a difference anymore in the darkness that surrounded him now, and waited for the nothingness to take over his mind as well.

His last thought once again wandered to Crowley.

With all his heart he hoped his love was alright.

That was his last plea to an absent God.

He had to be alive.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to tell me your thoughts in the comments, I'm still learning and am currently trying to figure out how to make english sentences sound good.


End file.
